I Have A Dream

Beyond Martin Luther King's famous dream about America, we all have a dream. My dream is when my book co-authored with Bonnie and Selene “ParentCoach”got published in November 2005 which dedicated to parent-child relationship, I dream of families, schools and communities where parents can reflect, learn from experiences, and modify practices by adapting ParentCoach's concept.As a ParentCoach, I’d like to build my family as an interdependent learning unit in which all members in my family are continually seeking ways to trust, solve problems and learn together. I hope my idea of “future family” can become a sort of family culture in Hong Kong and China.I also envision a time in which parents become increasingly adept at effective harmonious living with their kids, achieving personal potential while be good models for their kids. I see a world in which many parents have coaching skill and in which ParentCoach strives toward personal state of excellence and help their kids to grow toward harmonious expression of living together.For this current population of 1.3 billion souls in China including Hong Kong, the global economy works only for minority of its population. The Majority of Chinese people will be left out, joining those who will be born poorer in other places. I dream better parents who constantly create condition or influence their kids about the world in which all can grow and prosper together. If parents choose, they can become ParentCoaches. I envision a more actualized, harmonious world that values work as well as family life, thus giving a brighter future for our children.

Tips being effective parents

Reread parental books in preparation for my thesis. Messages being effective parents keep appear in texts, which could be summarized as follows:1. Talking friendly with kids - Sound of autocratic and dictatorial parents becomes more and more things of the past. Friendly voice tends to cultivate better communication with children particularly to tweens. As long as maintaining dialogue with kids, we stand better chance to communicate our feeling, thoughts and actions. Friendliness does play a key role in parenting nowadays.2. Be both firm and kind - When parents decide upon a course of action. They must not vacillate and they must remember to be friendly, non-judgmental and matter-of -fact when applying consequences.3. Keep your cool - Kids often try to control by getting your attention by tempting various acts to upset you. In other words, they have your buttons and they know when to push them. Responding with anger only fuel heated situation that could spring beyond parent's control. The parent stands better chance of succeeding with his child by remaining cool and matter-of-fact attitude.4. Utilize encouragements - Parents can encourage children by recognizing effort and contribution not on results. Too focus on results will discourage children because there are often better results ahead. The non-stop chasing of finer results is primary cause of discouragement for most children, resulting kids from stop trying. Encouragement should be given even the child is not entirely successful as long he tried hard.5. Use logical and natural consequences - Misbehaving children so often not benefit from punishment. Research after research has proved the fact punishment leads to inertial. Instead parents must allow children to experience reality's lessons through the use of logical and natural consequences.6. Continue learning- Parents must become life learner themselves to be effective as parents. New parental skills may not work at first, but one needs to be patient and rework the skill repeatedly and parents may find one day these skills once being mastered, it becomes very effective in dealing with children. Parents must turn to learning mindset instead of mere relying on conventional wisdom in dealing with kids